An important announcement... -- Sat, 03 Feb 2001 16:37:17 -0700

I have a big long speech to make, so I'd like you all to gather around
and lend me your ear for a moment.
  
Every year at Burning Man, I work too hard, and spend way too much
money.  This Burning Man promises to be my biggest responsibility,
and my biggest expense.  I'm going to be busy.  And I'm going to be
poor.
  
  
It is a great honor to be asked to do a project for the KeyHole.
But it is also a great responsibility.  They are offering a lot,
but they are also asking for all my free time and spare cash from
now until Burning Man.
  
The KeyHole means a lot to me.  And yet, a number of people who have
talked with me at the side of the Cauldron have told me, "this is the
best art I have ever seen in my life, really."  This means far, far
more to me than being in the KeyHole.  Those who see it love it.  The
firefall doesn't need more recognition.
  
  
Yet, no one ever gets to see it.
  
At both 1999 and 2000 The Cauldron ran only two nights for just a
couple hours.  At Ascention, the SFLNC benefit, it was placed
*outside* the smokers' baracade.  People crowded around, and so
blocked anyone *else* from seeing it was there.  Even at Rachel's
party, I called everyone to come outside to see it, and *still*
people missed it...
  
This pain of no one seeing the firefall had turned to a dull ache,
and then sad resignation.
  
I'd been thinking a lot about this fact.  Then somewhere inside me,
I "got it".
  
The firefall is a rare and *elusive* Beast.  You have to be patient
and persistant -- you have to find it, it doesn't find you.  You might
catch a glimpse of it through the forest of people crowding around it,
but you will never see it out in the open...
  
Last weekend, I thought about it being in the KeyHole.  And, frankly,
rather than being a relief, it seemed, well, inappropriate.
  
The second reason I didn't have the Cauldron in Center Camp in 1999
was because it's too bright, and too crowded.  The empty darkness of
the Open Playa is much more the place the firefall belongs.
  
[Not to mention it's not a *tame* Beast.  And I don't relish the
thought of being out there in the middle of *everything* having
troubles getting it to run for the first time...]
  
  
Resources for our town -- money, time, labor, brain-power, etc --
are being divided between the Crystal Palace and Egeria.  Though
Steph and I are looking for paths that don't conflict, both
projects are big, and will require the work of a crew of people.
  
This year was supposed to be about Steph and her brilliant visions.
It was supposed to be an expansion of her Columns project into
something grand for all of us.  And instead, attention [and resources]
are being diverted into Egeria.
  
This was supposed to be a year where Steph -- as my maid of [dis]honor
-- and I grow together, plan together, and deepen our friendship.  I
want to work on the Crystal Palace too, with everyone else.
  
  
And so also it occurred to me that this year is our goddamn wedding,
and yet, I have focused all my energy on Egeria.  I've hardly even
*thought* about planning our wedding at Burning Man.  We're planning a
traditional wedding for spring 2002 for the family, which is, for the
most part, Scott's wishes.  The Burning Man wedding is, for the most
part, for *me*.  This will happen only *once* in my life.  It's my
*wedding* dammit!  It's *important*.
  
This is the biggest reason and the clincher.  Egeria is not critical.
It can happen anytime, or not at all.  My wedding, on the other hand,
has everything to do with my future with Scott, and my promise of
that future to my friends and community.  Egeria shouldn't conflict
with that.  Egeria be damned, if so.
  
  
  
So I ask of you: would anyone be hurt if I pull Egeria out of the
KeyHole?
  
Forging ahead with it seems to be all wrong, in so many ways.  I don't
even think I could have someone produce while I direct the project.
I just think it's too much to do, and there's too much that will
suffer.
  
Kiki -- Jan 29, 2001
----------------------
Epilogue:
  
The morning after I wrote that, I woke up with floods of ideas for
our wedding!  This was the first time I'd really *concentrated* on it.
  
It really is the right decision not to build Egeria this year.
  
Oh, *eventually* we most definitely will!  It's too exciting a project
and there's too many great plans and ideas.  But just not now.
  

Sat, 03 Feb 2001 16:37:17 -0700

Modifications to the script and pages by Kiki.